


all my words are yours

by eggrater



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Authors!AU, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:04:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggrater/pseuds/eggrater
Summary: Jun and Nino are authors, and they have a secret.





	all my words are yours

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Ely's birthday.

Jun and Nino are authors.

Both write books that sit on the best selling shelves at the book stores, their books are being adapted into animes, into live action movies. They travel all around the world to promote their books. They have fans writing fanfictions about their characters. They’re the authors the young writers aspired to be.

Nino writes deep, heavy novels. Books about wars, slices of life, coping with sadness. He develops his characters slowly but surely, making sure the setting is perfect, accurate. Nino doesn’t write young adults novels, it’s way too boring for him. He writes about the space, science fiction, he writes novels about how people survive.

Jun, on the other hand, writes romance novels. They’re not the cheesy, light hearted novels you’d find anywhere. Jun takes his time building his characters, making sure the reader knows them before he starts on the love story. Jun takes his time making them fall in love. Jun leaves the readers hanging, wondering what was the outcome of the whole story. Jun writes about the little things that made people fall in love, the little magic of being in love.

Writing such opposite genres, despite both being two of the most famous authors in Japan, they have never met. They have never crossed each other’s way, or at least, that was what everyone thinks.

Jun and Nino are authors, and they have a secret.

***

_June 2005 // Jun – Wish_

Nino has just gotten back from a book signing when he realized there’s a packet on his door. Probably from some readers, he thought, as he brought to package to the living room, allowing himself some time to rest.

Matsumoto Jun released a book at the same time he did this year, and his publisher is going the extra mile to promote his book, and Nino could see Matsumoto’s publisher is doing the same too. Sometimes he wonders why do they feel the need to do so much, since the segments of readers for their books are different, Nino doesn’t feel like it actually matters.

Nino slowly opened the package. It’s obviously a book, though he doesn’t know who would send him a book. His breath hitched when he saw what’s inside.

 ** _Wish_**. It’s Matsumoto’s newest book. He held his breathing as he opened the card that was glued to the cover of the book. _Neat handwriting_ , he thought. So he read,

**_Dear Ninomiya Kazunari-san,_ **

**_I’ve heard about you a lot, I also have read all of your books. This is my newest book, and I’d like to play a game with you._ **

**_Here’s the rules:_ **

  1. **_Crack the code_**
  2. **_If you get it, don’t answer with anything, just do the same when you release a new book, send your book to me with a code._**
  3. **_To make it fun, let’s never contact each other in ways other than this until we feel like we know each other enough._**



**_Code: 14. 32. 65. 81. 93. 99. 104. 118. 219. 234. 251. 269. First words._ **

**_Please keep me in your care, Ninomiya-san._ **

**_Warm regards,_ **

**_Matsumoto Jun_ **

Nino’d like to think this is a prank. Why would Matsumoto Jun send him his book, with a message asking him to play a _game_ with him, and with a “let’s never contact each other in ways other than this”, when in the world is he going to know him enough?

But as he researched Matsumoto’s handwriting, Matsumoto’s signature, everything just leads to one conclusion: that is indeed his handwriting, and it’s not photocopied whatsoever.

So Nino read the code, over and over again. He thinks it should be an easy one, so after 45 minutes reading Matsumoto’s card, he figured it out.

The first words of the number of pages Matsumoto mentioned.

So that night, instead of jumping to the pages, Nino spent the whole night reading Matsumoto’s book. Despite knowing that at 7 in the morning, Aiba will pick him up to the meeting about the movie for his book. Despite knowing that he’ll probably look so shitty in the morning.

Nino’s not the type that read romance novels, but Matsumoto’s book is otherworldly. Nino didn’t cringe at the characters or the plot, he found Matsumoto’s characters fascinating, enjoying the way they grew throughout the story, enjoying the way the plot is not rushed, slowly, slowly, Matsumoto builds a world of his story in the readers’ brains.

Nino wondered if he will ever be able to do the same.

Matsumoto’s additional genre this time is fantasy. It almost reminded him of Cinderella, except it’s nothing like Cinderella. Matsumoto keeps the mystery sealed, ending uncertain and hanging, and Nino craved for more when he finally finished the book at 4 in the morning.

He looked at the list of the first words from the specified pages and froze.

**Your. Words. Helped. Me. Getting. Through. The. Darkest. Of. Days. So. Thank. You.**

Nino clutched the book tight to his chest, his heart suddenly full of emotions. Matsumoto has never met him, he has only known him through his words. Yet to think that he means that much to someone’s life, it’s something that’s beyond Nino’s imagination.

Nino beamed as he threw himself to his bed, making sure he remembers to read the rest of Matsumoto’s books and return the favor when he releases a new book.

When Aiba came the next morning asking why he’s such in a good mood, Nino kept his lips sealed.

***

_April 2006 // Nino – Ready to Fly_

Jun had to hold his breathe when he read Ninomiya’s new book announcement. He has been waiting for this day to come for more than half a year, and he doesn’t even know whether Ninomiya actually accepted his weird offer about that game at all.

Jun has been following Ninomiya’s works since he first released his first book in 1999. He never knew that a simple story of 5 guys trying to survive a night full of storm can turn into one addictive book, the kind of book he can’t put down. And since then, Ninomiya became his inspiration in writing.

Jun can’t write the stuff Ninomiya does, but he can write with his own way, and it’s enough. It took all the courage in him to send the book to Ninomiya, especially along with such an embarrassing confession.

Sho offered to set up an event with Ninomiya a few times, knowing that Jun loves his books, but he always refused. He doesn’t want to break his image of Ninomiya, he doesn’t want to be a fun breaker. He wants to know the fellow writer with the way he breathes words, with the way he uses words with so much care, so carefully.

So Jun sent that package, pretending not to be aware of how stupid and complicated it was. At least now Ninomiya knows how he feels about his words—it’s not like Jun’s in love with Ninomiya or anything—and with this, maybe, he’s allowed to hope even just a little that Ninomiya would do the same thing in return.

It was 3 days after the official release of Ninomiya’s book, it was Jun’s day off. He has just woken up when the doorbell rang, and Jun’s sleepy eyes immediately snapped open when the delivery man gave him his package.

Jun jumped onto his bed, unwrapping the package. True enough, inside is Ninomiya’s book, **_Ready to Fly_**. Jun’s hand shakily took the card, and instead is a somewhat messy handwriting, but endearing in its own way.

**_Dear Matsumoto Jun-san_ **

**_Thank you so much for your kind gift a few months back. I managed to crack the code and I thought I’d be fun to join in this game of yours :)_ **

**_So here’s mine._ **

  1. **_43\. 59. 84. 191. 203. 268. Third sentences._**



**_Thought I’d step up my game, you know :)_ **

**_Til next time,_ **

**_Ninomiya Kazunari_ **

Jun blinked. He’s using sentences? This man must be a genius, putting up with his troublesome request, blending his letter in the book with _sentences_. To say Jun is excited to read this book is an understatement.

The first book by Ninomiya Kazunari with a personal hidden message for him.

This time, Ninomiya wrote about the world 3000 years from now. With robots and high-tech stuff and things Jun would never be able to imagine. Ninomiya wrote about illusions. His time setting is a mess but it was written to be like that.

 _This man is a freaking genius_ , Jun had thought, over and over again. His choice of vocabulary, even his base idea, it shows nothing but the fact that Ninomiya is one hell of an amazing person, and such person has been so kind to respond to Jun’s selfish game.

When Jun finished the book, he looked at the list of sentences, and he swore his heart skipped a beat.

**Thank you. I’ve been reading what you’ve written. I loved all of them. People fall in love in mysterious ways, don’t they? Some people fall in love through words. I think I have fallen in love with your words. Please never give up on it.**

Jun stood there, freezing. _I have fallen in love with your words_. The words he wrote for him. It reached him. It reached him. It reached him.

It makes him wonder if it’s so easy for Ninomiya to use the word love, to associate it with his words. It makes Jun feel exposed. Because his raw feelings are there, immortalized. The feelings he got after reading Nino’s writing were immortalized in the shape of words, which Ninomiya has read and claimed he has fallen in love with.

Jun wants to know him.

***

_January 2007 // Jun – Be With You_

 

**People do fall in love in mysterious ways. I have watched how people love so strongly. Their eyes sparkle. I write. Because I’ve seen these people. And I want to treasure it. I want to treasure these feelings. There are silent witness to these things. The coffee at 2 in the morning. The walls they leaned on. But words live on. Mine. Yours. They live on. They always will.**

***

_October 2007 // Nino – Niji_

**I saw a rainbow today. It was truly beautiful. But I don’t think nothing could ever beat. The beauty of. The letters you patched. Until they became words. For people to admire. The feelings you packed. Just for me. To treasure.**

***

_August 2008 // Jun – Sirius_

**It. Has. Only. Been. 3. Years. But. I. Think. I’m. Getting. Attached. To. This.**

***

_December 2008 // Nino – Once Again_

**Patience. When the time comes. We’ll be together. But first of everything. Stick to your words. Remember our promise. Remember the rules.**

*******

_May 2009 // Jun – Beautiful Days_

**I looked up at the sky. All the constellations looked like you. If you’re seeing them too tonight. Tell them about me. And don’t be surprised. They might have heard about you already.**

*******

_September 2009 // Nino – Subarashiki Sekai_

“Jun, did you get yourself a boyfriend?” Sho asked out of the blue one day, and Jun dropped Ninomiya’s card to his desk, shaking his head frantically.

“I don’t, what the hell gave you that idea?”

“You occasionally get packages from god knows who, and your eyes sparkle whenever you look at them, and there will be cards, and you’re going to smile like an idiot whenever you read them. Also your writing, they seem different. There are more feelings now.” Sho commented, amused at Jun’s reaction.

Jun didn’t answer to that. He doesn’t know what he and Ninomiya are. Pen pals? Still fellow authors? But all they did lately is confessing their love to each other. _When the time comes_ , Nino did say.

When the time comes.

“It’s not from my boyfriend,” Jun sighed. “It’s from a dear fan of mine.”

**The world is a wonderful place. The universe is a beautiful place. Everyday, stars burnt and they turned into nebulas. The stars knew they’d die, yet they’re enjoying what they have while it lasts. I want to enjoy this. With you. This world is a wonderful place when you’re in it.**

*******

_March 2010 // Jun – Come Back To Me_

**You once asked. Is it possible to fall in love with someone through their words alone?**

**I have the answer now.**

**Yes.**

***

_November 2010 // Nino – Sora Takaku_

**Your. Words. Saved. Me. I. Can’t. Thank. You. Enough.**

**But. I. Have. Fallen. For. You. And. I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Do.**

*******

_February 2011 // Jun – morning light_

“Nino, you look so happy.” Aiba commented. Nino raised an eyebrow, slipping Jun’s card into his table’s drawer.

“Pardon?”

“I said, Ninomiya Kazunari, you’ve been receiving packages from god knows who, and you’ve been the happiest whenever you read the cards, and you’re probably dating someone without telling this poor childhood friend slash manager of yours.”

Nino chuckled. “It’s not what you think it is, Aiba-chan.” He said.

“Then what is it?”

Nino’s silent for a moment, then he spoke. “It’s something that I’m afraid I could break one day.”

**You’re not falling alone. I’m falling too. I’m falling fast and hard. But I’m no longer afraid. I’m never afraid. Even if I can’t see the stars. As long as you’re with me.**

*******

_October 2011 // Nino – Lotus_

  1. **I. T. H. I. N. K. I. A. M. I. N. L. O. V. E. W. I. T. H. Y. O. U.**



_I’d be happy to die right here right now_ , Jun thought to himself.

***

_April 2012 // Jun – Your Eyes_

Nino blinked at Jun’s card. There’s only one hint in the code.

 ** _Last sentence_**.

Nino’s heart was racing when he finished the book.

 **I love you too**.

***

_November 2012 // Nino – Fly on Friday_

Nino did the same thing Jun did, just a little bit different.

  1. **_Second paragraph_**.



Jun’s heart skipped a beat when the realization that Nino wrote a full paragraph for him. For him only.

**I can’t wait to see the world with you. I can’t wait to ride merry go rounds when the parks are almost closing, I can’t wait to give you random flowers on a Saturday. I can’t wait to explore the rest of the world with you, or just stay in our own little world. I can’t wait to hold your hand. I can’t wait to kiss you. I can’t wait for the time to come where I’ll be able to kiss your knuckles and tell you how perfect you are in loops.**

Jun felt tears prickling in his eyes.

He can’t wait too.

***

_March 2013 // Jun – Breathless_

“Nino, do you want to do a collaboration with Matsumoto Jun?” Aiba asked out of the blue. Nino tried to keep his face flat, hoping Aiba can’t hear how fast his heart’s beating.

“What collaboration?”

“Well, a signing session together or something.” Aiba shrugged. “People want it, you know.”

Nino shook his head.

“It’s not the time yet.”

**Let’s. Meet. On. Our. 10 th. Year. **

**It’s. About. Time.**

Nino exhaled. That’s 2 years from now.

***

_December 2013 // Nino – Endless Game_

**I’m scared. I don’t want to wake up from this dream.**

**I’m scared. But with you, I’m willing to try.**

***

_June 2014 // Jun – Stay Gold_

**Your. Characters. Are. So. Brave.**

**They. Fight. In. Wars. They. Make. Things. We’ve. Never. Imagined. Until. Now.**

**Your. Characters. Are. So. Brave.**

**And. So. Are. You.**

**Thank. You.**

***

_December 2014 // Nino – Hope in the Darkness_

**It has been years. It felt like. I’ve been in love with you. For all my life. You’re my light. You have always been. My light.**

***

_March 2015 // Jun – Kimi e no Omoi_

**_Dear Nino,_ **

**_It has been 10 years since I sent you the first package. Maybe it’s finally time for us to meet. For real._ **

**_At your next release, please include a date, time, and place where you want to meet. I will come._ **

**_This will be the last from me._ **

**_Author’s note._ **

**_Regards,_ **

**_Matsumoto Jun_ **

Nino grabbed the book, opening the author’s note part of the book, and tears started streaming down his face.

**I wrote this for you. It’s something you should know, it’s something you should understand. I didn’t write this for anyone, it’s for you, and for you only. I want my words to reach you, I want my words to embrace you all the time. I want my words to catch you whenever you feel like falling. My words are yours. You are meant to read these words.**

Nino clutched the book close to his chest, overwhelmed by emotions. He needs to meet Jun.

***

_November 2015 // Nino – Aozora no Shita, Kimi no Tonari_

**_Tokyo Main Gallery, November 30 th 2015, 8 p.m. Section A-1. _ **

**_Dedication._ **

**_All the love,_ **

**_Ninomiya Kazunari_ **

Jun flipped the first page of the book.

**To the person whose words I fell in love with. Thank you for making me the bravest person in the world.**

Jun would be lying if he said he wasn’t crying.

***

It was 7.59 p.m. when Jun stood in between the shelves in Section A-1.

And he saw him.

Ninomiya Kazunari was standing there, in a blue knitted cardigan and a white shirt, in his hands is a thick book, and he looked lethal. He looked like nothing Jun has seen in pictures. Jun’s heart’s racing as he approached the man, the man he loves, the man he adores.

Nino put down his book when he realized his presence, smiling wordlessly at him.

“So,” Jun started. “Hi.”

Nino chuckled. “Hi.”

For a moment, they’re just standing there, watching what’s standing in front of them. Jun’s hand reached to caress Nino’s cheek. He’s here, he’s real, he’s here. It’s not just his words, it’s the real person, standing here in front of him, and Jun feels like his heart can burst from affection anytime.

“You have scars here.” Nino blurted out, fingers touching Jun’s cheeks. “They’re beautiful. I wish I’ve known you as long as they have.”

“Are you okay with this?” Jun asked suddenly, his heart is beating too hard and the world seems to be spinning too fast. Nino gripped his wrist.

“Your heartbeat.” Nino muttered. “Are you scared, Jun?” His name rolled off Nino’s tongue so easily, and Jun swore his heart skipped a beat once again. “You made me so brave, why are you scared now?”

“You only know me from my words.” Jun whispered. “You don’t know how awful I am in the morning, or how moody I can get. You don’t know I have this weird obsession for bonsai and I’m a control freak and I don’t like it when something’s not perfect. You don’t know I talk to my TV or my love for anago sushi. You only know me from my words, and I’m flawed and imperfect, and this is your last chance to back away.” He said.

He’s more than ready for Nino to let go of his hand.

But he didn’t.

Instead, Nino tightened his grip, his other hand caressing Jun’s cheek. “Your words are the purest, the raw version of you. I know I love you, and that means, Matsumoto Jun, I’m going to accept you the way you are. I’m going to accept your beauty and your flaw, I’m going to love every inch of your imperfections. I’m being so brave, Jun.”

A beat.

“When I said I fell in love with your words, that was the highest form of love writers could ever experience.”

With that, Jun leaned in to press his lips against Nino’s.

It’s real.

***

_October 2017_

Jun woke up to the warmth of Nino’s body pressed against his. The both of them have stayed up late last night, finishing their deadlines before they get burned by Aiba and Sho. It probably took 10 years from Jun’s lifespan to keep himself from being distracted by the sight of Nino, wrapped in a blanket, hands dancing on the keyboard of his laptop.

Since the first time he exchanged words with Nino, he has always wanted to write about him.

He wondered how would he write him.

Would he write him like a start for his novels? Taking his time, exploring. With descriptive prose and long paragraphs, writing it over and over again, making sure it fits the real Nino. Making sure whoever’s reading his words realizes how lethal, how beautiful Nino is, just from his words alone.

Would he write him like the climax for his novels? Passionate, full of emotions, full of the things that happened between them. Abstractly falling in love with him, using random verbs, random idioms, random adjective to describe how he feels towards the other man.

Or he would write him like his epilogues. Hanging, uncertain on what would happen from here and out. He’d use vague words, describing Nino’s beauty and his bravery in soft, uncertain words.

But now, Jun thinks, maybe he doesn’t need to do it anyway.

“If you’re awake, make breakfast, don’t stare.” Nino grumbled, getting Jun out of his daydreaming. Jun laughed, pulling him closer.

Maybe he doesn’t need to write about Nino.

Because whatever bond he has with Nino right now is real. It’s real and beautiful and ethereal, and no words would be able to describe this.

They don’t need words as long as they’re together.


End file.
